One night, as far back as 1894, 1 dreamed I was in a desert in Phantomnia, and that bounding towards me from a distance, came a white kangaroo decorated with large, brown spots that looked as if they had been recently painted, and which imparted to it a wooden appearance. It came right up to me, and eyeing me in the friendliest manner possible, said, “Have you seen my mother?” “No!” I replied, “I have not seen anyone here for the last two years, because it is fully that time since I visited these parts. What is she like?” The kangaroo was greatly perplexed. “Why,” he said, “To tell you the truth I haven’t the slightest idea. I thought, perhaps, you might know; but, of course; since you have been absent for so long, it is very obvious you are the last person I should have asked. Good-bye.” And, with a leap, he was gone. I shouted out to him, ” Why not ask that tree?” (There was a poplar growing near) but he did not hear me, and was out of sight before I could speak again. I walked on, but had not gone very far, before I came across a boy standing on a big stone, and blowing out his cheeks. There was a look of the most exquisite joy in his round, gooseberry eyes, as if he found his occupation the most delightful in the world. ”Why, what on earth are you doing?”I asked. He opened his mouth and out flew a swarm of bees. “Oh! Isn’t it Paradise?” he said. ”Paradise! They make their honey in my stomach!” “But don’t they sting you?” I asked. “Well, now you come to speak of it, I believe they do” the boy responded, “but what is that compared with the honey! Besides, see the amount of labour it saves!” and with that he started whistling. I cannot recollect the air, but it must have been something very infectious, for much as I hate dancing I took off my coat, and holding it straight in front of me commenced to waltz. “And why not your trousers, too?” whistled the boy,” you don’t want them. You are only a monkey” I looked down, and the first thing I saw was my tail, that sat up on end and laughed at me. “Well, really, things have come to a fine point!” I exclaimed, “The lower orders making fun of the upper in this fashion! What next shall we hear!” “You can’t do two things at once,” sneered the tail, “you can’t dance and scold me. Either you must go on dancing and leave me behind or — or” and, suddenly becoming greatly confused, it whirled round and round at a tremendous rate until it tied itself up in a hopeless knot.” If that isn’t a misfortune, I don’t know what it is!” whistled the boy. ” Have some honey?””But how am I to get it?” I enquired.” I can’t cut you open!””If you were not quite so big,” he said,” I should suggest you let yourself down into my inside by your tail, but alas! It’s your size that’s in the way. And, after all, honey may not be good for you!”That is because you want it all for yourself, I cried, trying in vain to stop dancing, and all but tripping over my partner, who had the most irritating knack of flapping between my legs, “Life is full of gluttons,” whistled the boy. ”I’m one, you’re one, and so is your partner,” and, leaving off whistling, he turned very pale and pointed excitedly at my coat. Following his glance, the blood in my veins froze. My coat, which was buttoned, had swollen to an enormous size, and right across the back of it, was a huge, flabby-lipped mouth that was gulping down some nasty -looking, sticky mess as fast as it could. With an ejaculation of disgust I loosened my hold of it, and the next moment, caught up by a strong current of air, it was wafted away from me and borne at a great rate across the desert. Hanging on to it behind, I noticed (with the greatest sensation of relief) my tail! I now left the boy, and aiming for a clump of trees I saw in the distance, was rapidly advancing towards it, when a very tall and thin man, with a fiat rectangular face no thicker than a plank, rose out of a pit a few yards away from me, and in a quavering falsetto voice cried out to me to stop.Complying with his request, I approached the edge of the pit, when out of it sprang an enormous lion. It had hurled me to the ground, and was in the act of mauling my throat, when I awoke. I interpret the foregoing dream thus:The kangaroo signified a journey; the bees, success in financial matters; dancing, minor troubles; whistling, a lover’s quarrel; metamorphose to a monkey, the breaking off of a marriage through my agency; the lion, marriage.Shortly after this dream I went to the Pacific Coast of America; a great friend of mine was very successful in his speculations on the Stock Exchange but was much worried over a series of troubles at home; whilst another friend, equally dear to me, foolishly got engaged to the daughter of a nouveau riche who was vulgar even for a parvenu. A quarrel arising between them, owing to her grossly snobbish behaviour to some of his poor, albeit presentable, relations, he came to me for advice, and although I make a strong point of never interfering where love is concerned, I considered this an exceptional case, and strongly urged him to break off the engagement. He acted on my counsel, and within six weeks the girl married someone in her own set, as vulgar and pretentious as herself.

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